And well, my answer is abnormal, even if superficially the same as many people's feelings. Most people would probably feel both ways: excitement of this precious holiday arriving soon, and terror at the idea of the shopping malls and lengthy wish lists. I used to feel this way, so I am well versed in it.
However, my excitement is now for it to be over, and my trepidation is now not related to shopping days and wish lists, but rather church and church folk. I'm a Christian, and I love Jesus. And I hate Christmas. That's right. Call me Scrooge or whatever, but really we all know Christmas isn't Jesus' birthday. We just pretend because it's a good excuse for scented trees, twinkling lights, sentimental ornaments, cookies and presents. And when someone dares not celebrate this precious pagan feast day, well, the holier than thous come out of the woodwork to condemn. CONDEMN!
Each and every year as I avoid it, someone will pick an argument with me over it. Explaining to me that it is Jesus' birthday they celebrate and in spite of all the pagan trappings, it only matters what is in their heart. I hear explanations of the Christmas tree really symbolizing the trinity, eternal life and all sorts of excuses for keeping that secular tradition. I hear that Santa Clause was really a Saint and did good deeds. I hear so many arguments that people use to make their pagan trappings feel better. And honestly, it all makes me a little nauseas.
I'm not judging the truly uninformed. Heck, I'm not judging the ones who know it all and still do it. I WAS THERE ONCE TOO! A friend showed me all the facts once upon a time and all I could say was that I could see the truth but wasn't ready to make the change. I reasoned that I had a husband and infant daughter and could not take all those sentimental things away from them. But I could at least acknowledge that there was truth there. I didn't force my friend to defend herself year after year. I didn't mock her to her face or behind her back.
And that is the kicker for me. We do not celebrate Christmas, and the church mocks us. The pastor and his wife ridicule us. The other church folk say unkind things and try to manipulate our children behind our backs. I'm very serious. Each year, my family takes a stand and each year the church persecutes us for doing what we see is right according to the Bible.
And so, as we approach the hallowed holiday, I do feel a sickening trepidation knowing my kids will be signed up for the church pageant without my consent, that I will be looked down on for not attending services on Christmas Eve, that Christmas trees and wreaths and mistletoe will be proudly displayed at church and at church events, and that my family will make Christians so uncomfortable that we will be lepers of society for the month of December. Yes, I am excited to pieces at the end of the month, when it is all finally over. Let's celebrate the 40 days of weeping for Tammuz, call it Lent and repent for our holiday gluttony. Or let's NOT!
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